jayancm
Battle begins: Thin vs Fat!!! (Part I)
Strong back!
A quick survey Analysis in Karmakerala office, this time we moved on from moustache to something bigger, Yeah! Sholto wanted me to know what ladies prefer slim toned guys or heavy bulky ones.
Well! Here I am with sizable number of women members who prefer the heavy ones. Continue reading
Apple-a-day scam: The story unfurls
What we heard was a snake coaxed Eve to eat an apple from the forbidden tree in the Eden, and with that started the woes for mankind.
Later it was said that an Apple-a-day keeps the doctor away. And now we have this new form of Apple, that simply managed to swindle millions from different people across Kerala and ironically that includes doctors too.
Well! We are talking about Apple-a-day properties- the new face of the biggest land scam in Kerala (Over Rs. 100 crores). If we have to believe the early story of Adam and Eve, and that Apple was symbolic for immortality and tempted man to commit sin after sin, Apple-a-day, builders did just that- woo people from far across middle-east asking them to invest in proposed ‘Garden of Eden’ in God’s own Country. This company promised plush Villas and flats. The modern Adams and Eves pumped in all their hard earned money for a life in Eden, were just waiting to see the day of light when they realize that this time the serpent was the Apple itself.
These are the pictures of the site in Thycattussery panchayath near Cherthala, Alappuzha district where they proposed flats for Rs.5 lacs plus a Tata Nano car for the occupants. All they did here was land piling to eye wash investors and left it for the stray dogs to defecate.
Please visit us for more interesting stories on how Apple-a-day converted marshy land to look perfect for construction and how they managed to coax investors to eat their Apple. The fact remains that these lands were never ever suitable for construction.
This being one of the most sensational news in Kerala the story has spread far and wide, even featuring in the Wall Street Journal. The victims of Apple-a-day property also have a Facebook page.
Miss Beautiful Kerala
Nobody knew Indu Thambi few days ago. But now she is getting all the attention, guess what! She is the Miss Kerala 2010 held in Kochi. All the girls who took part in the pageant wanted to make it big in life, so the talking and demeanor on stage was not like any other Malayali girls and it was different.
On stage the girls were all blabbering about their dreams and aspirations, some wanna work for the poor and the downtrodden and the society at large à la Sushmita Sen and Aishwarya Rai. The typical Malayali girls even seems to have practiced how to speak more convincingly when they talked about reaching the Stars, Moon and if possible a visit to the Sun for a change.
Thankfully the criteria wasn’t like you have to be born in Kerala, either one of the parents should have been born in some nook and corner of God’s own Country, so obviously the mother tongue was not a issue. But as a true Malayali most of the girls confessed in chaste Malayalam that they are pucca Malayali even though they are born and brought up outside Kerala. So, obviously when the love for mother tongue was discussed most girls may have wanted to run for cover.
Nevertheless getting back to Miss Kerala, 5 contestants made it to the final. But, before the final countdown all kind of entertainment was in place. The Bollywood rap singer Abbey Fizardo was belting out all kind of metal songs, but the poor Malayali audience even though looked and dressed like Gen-X refused to get up and sway to his music.
It’s time for the final tamasha, to choose one Malayalee damsel as the beauty of the state. Others don’t feel disheartened there are other awards too like; the best Miss Beautiful Hair, Smile, Skin, Photogenic face, Eyes, Teeth, Legs and last but not the least ‘Miss Voice’ (phew).
Finally Miss Kerala was announced and the crown goes to none other than God’s own daughter Miss Indu Thambi. The runners up as usual were waiting to steal the final show and giggled followed by hugging the winner. My god! Malayalee true spirit! It was a close contest I heard Indu Thambi impressed the jury by promptly answering the seven ingredients of the Kerala sadya. But if you take into account the Malayalee love for food it was an easy question.
Anyway the winner is announced and the show is over, most of the Malayalees had no clue and wanted to return to bed. Congrats to Indu Thambi to have won the pageant lets look forward to see you doing all the good work for the society like our previous beauties. Don’t want to sound ironic…and frankly the event represented the shifting face of the Malayali woman in terms of fashion and beauty, but as the new Miss Kerala pageant closed, I can’t help thinking – “Is Kerala missing somewhere?”
Air Pollution in Kochi, how safe are we
Kerala Police have a target particularly in Kochi to book maximum two wheelers who do not follow the ordinance viz-a-viz traffic. No helmets, seat belts, Helmet straps etc are the offenses. The Police is least bothered to pull people who park their vehicle on the road, those who violate no entry and over speed. So as part of this drive, the other day the ever-efficient Kerala police stopped one of my friends. He has his helmet in place, the straps were tightened and his vehicle in good condition. They went through his papers and found everything to be in order. So now they have to let him go, and oh my God, they were running short of 5 more offenders to square that day’s target. Luckily for them they saw a paper missing in that lot; that was the PUC (Pollution Under Control) thing. What next? he has to pay the fine for not having that certificate, which signifies that he is contributing to the already polluted air of Kochi
Kochi is one city that has more vehicles than roads. A study in the past had already shown that various parts of the city were found having a high amount of polluted air. The pollutant emission levels in Kochi have gone up substantially. The unhealthy air owing to the fast growth in vehicle is not at par with the infrastructure.
The AQI (Air Quality Index) in the range of 51-100 is considered moderate and Kochi is touching 151-200 which means it’s unhealthy air around. So I was wondering what kind of pollution control are the authorities looking at. The public transport emits 90 percent of Carbon monoxide right under their very nose. But nothing much is done to check them, all they do is for the sake of it.
With many ill-maintained government buses emitting deadly smoke and with no proper inspection, use of adulterated fuel, poor road conditions and bumper-to-bumper driving, the situation is more likely to worsen. When are we going to wake up to this disturbing fact, before we all fail to wake up one fine morning.
Leave us alone we need no roads to development: Kerala
National Highway Authority of India is initiating the need to widen the roads of the country to international standards. This means our national highways will be 6-lane road and will have access on both sides, flyovers, pedestrians walkway and zebra crossings to name a few, it all sounds so wonderful. But, hold on! the politicians in Kerala are thinking something else. Strange, but all political parties in Kerala have united together (a rare sight) for a common cause and unanimously they say, ‘We need no roads..oops sorry no wide roads.
The politicians after having decided over a cup of tea that the state needs only 30 metre broad roads against the proposed 60-metre. All the good Samaritan (politicians) of the Kerala society have finally decided to meet the Prime Minister, and apprise him about this decision. And we know what the PM is going to say ”Who cares, if you want 30-45-60 meter roads, it is you who is going to suffer.
The narrow minded politicians aren’t thinking practically, what this decision means for the future generation who will be forced to squeeze themselves for space. As a literate state, is it not the duty of these politicians to come together with intellectuals and educate the people how much it will benefit. But sadly, none have really bothered to tell us what it is all about, and shamefully we all know what it is all about. Vote bank politics and we have rather become politicians slaves.
Why is that the people of Kerala are getting so laid back, I have seen them agitating everywhere and for everything, but when it comes to real issues there is no reaction. It takes more than 9-years to complete and still no where to build a railway-overhead-bridge on a busy NH-17 highway, Edapally, Kochi, but we rather prefer to adjust with the situation and suffer.
Remember we are living in world’s largest democracy, so no one to blame but ourselves. Leaders don’t build nations, its build by you and me. Had we realized the power we have, this state would have been a different place all together. Till then lets keep grumbling and complaining.
Kochi- The not so Smart City
Cable roller parked at Kalathiparambil road
Kochi, the financial capital of Kerala refuses to grow. The administration or the municipal corporation has shown no sign of willingness to develop the city to some standard. Even the minimum bare infrastructure is outdated.
The city has accommodated 600 percent increase in vehicles in the last 10 years, and still the roads in the city are all single lane. More than 75 percent of the police force is on Kochi roads controlling traffic or chasing non-helmet rider and no-belt drivers (you cannot expect them to do a better job). Except for huge Flats and apartments, Kochi for sure is putting a poor image.
A truck negotiating the curve at kalathiparambil road
Have a look at the pictures to see a strange, lethargic attitude of the authorities. A cable drum roller parked on the one-half of the road. It appears like the cable company after laying the cable abandoned it to the fate of the road users. Imagine the state of the people who frequent this road. You need to update your Life Insurance premium regularly, after all insurance is good.
Walk at your own risk, Kochi has no footpaths, no proper bus stations, undisciplined public transport system, no proper use of space. I do not want to sound sarcastic, but I hope the concerned authorities and the governing bodies know how shameful this is.
Changing governance doesn’t make any sense, you need to have a society that demands changes
Unfortunately Kerala is no different from other state, the will-power is just missing. Hope Kochi catches up with other cities which are galloping faster.
Dad and Daughter ‘on wheels’ – A biker’s ruminations
Coming to office is full of adventure and harrowing experiences. Almost every vehicle would surpass me in a bid to make it first to the destination, the competition is fierce. Since I had experienced falling off my bike twice, I am nowadays generous enough to let others overtake me. The funniest actors on road are the adventurous two wheeler riders, who will make use of every inch of space to push their vehicle, lift your leg for a while and they will park a motorbike right underneath. The interesting part is on the way we all come across a railway crossing, which for most of the time remains closed and I see everyone who all overtook me waiting there. I was wondering like how meaningless it is to risk your life speeding and still not making it.
So this had been my usual routine, but today it was a bit different. Among all I saw an elderly man accompanied by his daughter on bike who seemed more impatient than others to get on to the other side. His daughter seated behind him was going through her notebooks undeterred with the traffic chaos. I realized the daughter must be rushing for her exams and the father to his office, so either one of them is late. The old man zipped past like a bullet, but then again no escape; I caught him at the next traffic signal.
I was closely following the father-daughter duo and suddenly saw the girl drop her notebook. It flew off on to the road. Damn it, they are going to be late again I said, but no! The girl made no effort to stop her Dad to pick the notebook and I saw she was acting helpless and holding her head like; ‘Can someone save me please?’ I felt strange, was perplexed, why did she not ask her dad to stop; after all she needs that book. Not giving a second thought as they sped away, I turned my bike and got the notebook that was lying on the road, which was partially torn, maybe couple of vehicles ran over it. As again they could not go beyond the next traffic signal, I approached them and handed over the notebook to the kid. She did not show any sign of courtesy or feeling of relief, but I could sense she was so happy to have it back. I asked her ‘Why didn’t you let your dad know that you had dropped the book? Her silence said it all. She didn’t want to upset her father because they don’t share a great camaraderie. Was this something related to me?, I thought to give her father a piece of my mind and told him ‘Don’t just be a Father, be a friend to your kid she needs you’. I don’t know how effective was my advise, but when I turned back all I could see was the man going even faster. Can’t help it”, said I to myself and then took a deviation and went my way.
Understanding is a major key in becoming an effective role model for your child or any person, as we say, “Understand – don’t take a stand.”. Why not parents tell their kids that ‘extremely powerful and simple way to live your life is to live it, and the whole purpose is to smile and realize that there are no bigger issues in life, can they do it? After all, we owe it to our children.
The new generation of Kerala is changing, the shift from traditional joint family setup to ‘nuclear’ family is more opted these days. Working parents are stressed resulting in communication gap with their children. Is the above episode a part of that culture? In fact I was left wondering as to how the new generation, hailed by all as the harbingers of change, would fare, with this kind of a treatment meted out at their homes and from their parents.
Malayalam Superstars out to ruin cinema
Wow! Malayalam film industry have superstars too, heavy, bulky, talented and of course aging superstars. These superstars refuse to accept the fact that its time out for them so they pave way for younger lots. The industry is always in news for all reason except cinema. This time it is about ego.
Wondering when was the last time the industry delivered a movie worth mentioning. Malayalam film once considered to be of world-class is today gasping. Their very own superstars are out to gag the industry to death just to keep their ego. A strange tryst is going on; the superstars along with their cronies are after a veteran actor Thilakan for his blood. The reason, Mr. Thilakan spurned venom and showed guts to speak about the way industry are taken into ransom by these aging stars.
They say Mr. Thilakan, is an arrogant old man, who is insane, physically weak and frustrated and seeks attention. Those who say this will not deny the fact that Mr. Thilakan is a fine actor and has equally contributed to the success of many movies that had the above superstars.
There is no point talking about what led to this stink in the industry involving the superstars, because it is a silly issue, it is all about ego. Ask them and all will give huge statements, but none have done a close introspection as to why in Kerala they need so many Unions in movie making unlike in other parts of the country.
The superstars are insecure and they tame fans association who act like goons. C’mon what are you trying to prove. We have seen better and bigger stars in India and they are generous, take for example Big B, Rajnikanth, Chiranjeevi, Kamal Hasan, Nagarjuna etc., and while they are still active you see so many younger faces too, and don’t forget they are more popular than you and have bigger fan clubs that act like PR and not hooligans.
Why not follow the Live and let live policy, for the sake of the industry, for the sake of Cinema. Just, closing your eyes doesn’t mean no one is watching you, get your act together. Accept the fact that there is a problem; the so called superstars should get the insecurity thing out before they are thrown out, they should generate feel good factor. Accept the fact that there are few takers for your movies now and you need to do better.
The typical malayalee hypocrisy, these stars are no different. They need to accept the fact that like Mr. Thilakan physically they are also growing old and it puts lot of pressure on the technicians to keep them shining. The growing popularity of Bollywood, Hollywood and Tollywood in Kerala says something else. Sit down and think, what could be the reason for the low turnout of audience for your movies and Malayalam Cinema as a whole. Can you chalk out any solution to keep this industry going rather than acting nuts on a helpless artist who is seeking his share of honor? Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. I don’t want to speculate that the days are numbered for these so called superstars, but if they let their ego rule the industry then either one will perish without any sign. Last but not the least, every dog has a day
Count your stars if you are on Cochin road!
Parked safe
Cochin, the financial capital city of Kerala represents largely with narrow roads with hundreds of cars and no parking lots. With millions of vehicles of all sizes on the road, the need for wider roads is just a dream (keep dreaming).
Secondly the roads in Kochi are not safe. No there are no robberies or dacoits on the roads, it is a different ball game. You may meet with an accident even if your are not at fault. The roads are so narrow and crowded and everyone is fighting for space. So if you reach home safely in the evening don’t ask for more. Accident is not new in Kochi, you will only be surprised if there is none reported in a day.
This morning I saw people gathered on the bridge over the canal near our Karma Kerala office (Subhash Chandra Bose road). Was wondering what happened! thought the Corporation might have agreed to clear off the hyacinth that was a breeding ground for mosquitoes. I took a closer look only to see a tipper van submerged in the water. It first looked like 1) the driver wanted to be a diver for a day, 2) wanted to cool his heels so took this noble plunge, 3) or effects of the New Year hangover.
None of my guesses was right till a passerby elucidated that another vehicle with a drunk driver (probably) at the wheel slammed into the rear of that poor parked tipper throwing it into the canal. This happened in the early morning and luckily there was no pedestrian or other vehicles on the road. A poor old lady was counting her stars as
No road to drive
she overslept and was late today for her morning walk.
It means even parked vehicles are not safe in Cochin roads. This reminds me of another incidence on NH-17, which is horrifyingly narrow with houses close enough on both sides of the road. One night another drunk driver rammed into the nearby house and into the bedroom injuring the man who was sleeping peacefully. Others in his neighborhood got up the next morning only to see this truck parked in his room!
Every other policemen is seen hunting for drunken drivers, but still nothing works. Kochities care less about traffic rules and driving etiquettes. Accidents are rampant. There is no proper definition for roads in Cochin. If we try to get a pedestrian survey, you will probably end up with litigation. The road to this city never grows.