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Dowry? Hey, no. Isn’t it a thing of the past, bygone era? Isn’t it illegal to give and take dowry? Give dowry and take dowry, you will get punished as per the law of the land…

Hey mate! Which world you are living in? Look around you and you’ll find lots of guys who have turned richer and happier with marriage…lots of guys who, in the course of bride-hunting, make it a point to remind those who are helping them in it, to look for girls from well-to-do families, especially those families that don’t have much of financial liabilities and preferably more sons than daughters….

Hey hey hey…Is it the 100% literate and enlightened Kerala that you are talking about? Is it the modern era, the era of IT and liberalisation that you are talking about? Don’t try to fool me…

Yes indeed…you are indeed a fool…Don’t you see your own friends moving about in cars and leading a life of luxury, mostly gained at the expense of their in-laws while you yourself are still fighting to make both ends meet and striving to make your ideals a reality? Don’t you remember that friend of yours who’s still going about hunting for a bride who is good in looks, educated well and at the same time from a rich family too? Hey dude, you seem to have taken a bit seriously the lessons of righteousness that you had read in your schoolbooks and the hollow rants of those umpteen orators whose actions rarely match with their words…foolish indeed…

Hey, we are living in the 21st century, my friend…remember that….

I do remember that…but you perhaps forget that we are living in a land where guys with daughters toil hard day and night to earn (or rather save) lakhs of rupees, depraving themselves of the many joys of life, so that they can marry off their daughters by gifting those lakhs of rupees to their prospective sons-in-law, who are free to utilise or squander away the money thus acquired. You forget that we are living in a country where foeticide still persists and where girls are killed, minutes after they are born to save the parents from having to be victims of the dowry menace. You forget that we still have women being tortured-mentally as well as physically- and even being killed for not bringing enough dowry…You forget that we are living in a state where the elite, educated and priveleged few know how to justify the giving and taking of dowry, stating that it’s but a help that’s meted out to the newly weds…

Ok…but how come it’s only the bride’s parents who’re ‘forced’ to help the newly weds? How come the groom’s parents go on demanding such ‘help’ as if it’s their right? I can’t digest it buddy…nonsensical…simply nonsensical. But I do understand that there are people all around me who’d love to call me a ‘fool’, a misfit in this world where husbands love wives for the dowry that they bring with them, for the material gains that they bring with them and where guys still leave it to others (parents, friends, relatives, middlemen) to get them their lifemates (‘soulmates’ they say!)….

Hey…confused? You may be thinking that I’ve gone mad, making such contradictory utterances on a blog about Kerala. This is in fact a dialogue between what’s ideal and what’s real, a protrayal of what Kerala is and what it is not. And what is it that prompted me to go in for such utterances on this tuesday afternoon? Well, the news that the Nilambur Village Panchayath, in the Malappuram district, has launched a unique matrimonial website.

Aha, matrimonial website? What’s new? Isn’t it yet another of those many websites that help you find a ‘soulmate’ with enough landed property, gold, fixed deposits etc? One who belongs to your ‘caste’,'subcaste’ and ‘religion’ and may or may not personally appeal to you…

Oh no! Those ‘utterances’ again. Well, let’s come to the point.

The Nilambur Village Panchayath, with Aryadan Shaukath (the guy who had scripted and produced some real sensible films like ‘Paadam Onnu Oru Vilaapam’, ‘Deivanaamaththil’ and ‘Vilaapangalkkappuram‘) as the Panchayath President, has come up with a website for those willing to marry without taking or giving dowry. The website, www.dowryfreemarriage.com, which is the joint venture of the village panchayat and women’s right NGO Mahila Samakhya Society, helps people from all over the world log in and find life-mates, but of course sans dowry. The site, which is launched by a village panchayath, which has done much for the welfare of the people, also provides a platform to discuss and fight social evils, injustice and oppression.

A noble venture indeed. My heart goes out to the people behind  www.dowryfreemarriage.com. What about you? C’mon don’t say “I am also with you” and then sit back and let the world go to the dogs. You have done it already…many times…!! What did you do when you came to know that tigers are on the verge of extinction? What did you do when you came to know that you are also contributing to the global warming that’s taking its toll in the form of sun-strokes and all?

Well, what did I do?

Time for an introspection! Time for action!